After we finalized our sons adoption this past December and after spending three years in the foster care realm our social worker asked us, “Will you be keeping your home open for future foster placements or are you planning to close your home?”. My mind retraced the last three years. It was full of revolving doors, inconveniences and feeling like our parenting was under a microscope. It was full of pain, anxiety and uncertainty. It was full of the world whispering the lies that my journey was unconventional and a journey that in no way would offer joy. The world around me whispered, you don’t have to choose to make your life this hard.
I took a deep breath and thought about what it would be like to close our home. I thought about how much more uncomplicated our lives would be. When we were in the midst of our foster care and adoption journey I told myself we would never do it again. We wouldn’t walk this hard road again. Our last journey had been such a roller coaster. Waiting and praying through THREE YEARS of the unknown. I studied my husband’s face and we both knew what the answer was. We replied with, “We will be keeping it open.” Verbalizing the words seemed surreal. What were we doing?! What were we thinking? Why would we embark down this crazy road again?
I’ll tell you why. We had counted the cost. We had counted the cost of what it looked like if we fostered again. We had counted the cost of what it looked like if we didn’t. Our conclusion was simple. It would cost too much if we didn’t. It would cost us not being forced to rely on Jesus in the storms of foster care. It would cost us the ability to tangibly feel compassion and walk along side of those that are hurting. It would cost our biological children the ability to see outside of themselves at a very young age. More importantly, it would cost an innocent child in foster care the opportunity to be fully and unconditionally loved. It would cost an opportunity to share the love of Jesus with a family in pain. It would cost nights of praying over a child’s heart by name. It would cost others being able to see an expression of the gospel. You see, we had counted the cost. And the cost of not opening wide the door to our home would cost infinitely more than if we did.
What a blessing it is and how humbling it is that Jesus smiled when he created our family and said, “You were made for this.” He choose us to be foster parents. In His grace, we get to daily see the gospel unfold, being alive and active in our home. We get to watch worlds collide and we get to experience and unconventional journey full of both pain and joy. We get to walk alongside the broken and boldly proclaim Jesus. That far outweighs any earthly cost or excuse we could fabricate for not fostering. It far outweighs the lies the world whispers. We’ve counted the cost. And it’s immeasurably worth it.
photo credit: @hunterberryphotography